Is Japan providing a glimpse of all our futures? Of the estimated 13 million unmarried people in Japan who currently live with their parents, around three million are over the age of Japan already has one of the world's lowest birth rates. After that, I lost interest in dating. It's not an option for women like me. Or else they're opting out altogether and replacing love and sex with other urban pastimes.
Tomita has a job she loves in the human resources department of a French-owned bank. But he does like cooking and cycling, and platonic friendships. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers can't be bothered with sex. Although Japan is sexually permissive, the current fantasy ideal for women under 25 is impossibly cute and virginal. To the tooth-sucking horror of Japan's corporate elders, the show struck a powerful chord with the generation they spawned. But demographer Nicholas Eberstadt argues that a distinctive set of factors is accelerating these trends in Japan. I go out with my girl friends — career women like me — to French and Italian restaurants. Getting back to basics, former dominatrix Ai Aoyama — Queen Love — is determined to educate her clients on the value of "skin-to-skin, heart-to-heart" intimacy. Japan's unders won't go forth and multiply out of duty, as postwar generations did. Kunio Kitamura, head of the JFPA, claims the demographic crisis is so serious that Japan "might eventually perish into extinction". Amid the recession and unsteady wages, men like Kishino feel that the pressure on them to be breadwinning economic warriors for a wife and family is unrealistic. He defines it as "a heterosexual man for whom relationships and sex are unimportant". Aoyama believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" — and it's partly the government's fault. Across urban Asia, Europe and America, people are marrying later or not at all, birth rates are falling, single-occupant households are on the rise and, in countries where economic recession is worst, young people are living at home. I love my independence. Most are still too young to have concrete future plans, but projections for them are already laid out. Aoyama believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" — and it's partly the government's fault. They don't believe it can lead anywhere," says Aoyama. And the centuries-old belief that the purpose of marriage is to produce children endures. Or else they're opting out altogether and replacing love and sex with other urban pastimes. But he also believes the rest of the world is not far behind. She accepts that technology will shape the future, but says society must ensure it doesn't take over. Ironically, the salaryman system that produced such segregated marital roles — wives inside the home, husbands at work for 20 hours a day — also created an ideal environment for solo living. Cohabiting or unmarried parenthood is still unusual, dogged by bureaucratic disapproval. It became awkward when the question of the future came up. Aoyama, 52, is trying to cure what Japan's media calls sekkusu shinai shokogun, or "celibacy syndrome". The sense of crushing obligation affects men just as much.
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