Sometimes, post menopausal women decide it is party time because babies can no longer happen. I asked them if they understood that I loved Sam. She is your wife, not a prostitute, and you are moving into creep territory fast. What you are doing is trying to push your wife into doing something she is uncomfortable with and has real-life repercussions. Women get a lot more social pressure to be "good girls" than men do to be "good boys", sexually speaking. We discussed that if we were to have an open relationship and I was to see Sam a couple of nights a week, it would be fake, because there would be only romantic dates, no kids, no stress, no bad days, he would be getting the good, and very little of the bad. Munches are no pressure social gatherings that usually meet at a local restaurant or pub and might be a good way to start networking. Sexually we were very comfortable, and in our younger years dabbled in the world of swinging. He was older and cheeky and I immediately felt drawn to him.
If she doesn't seem game and isn't running with the idea, you seriously need to back off. Making sure that doesn't happen would be my priority. Pick a date say six months or a year in the future for making the decision of whether or not to pursue this and do some research. Failing to make her feel safe and accepted is likely to lead to bad things. Don't start thinking of her as a vehicle to fulfill your desires without stopping to think about what she wants. Do you want to be there watching? From the rest of your post, it's very clear you've asked her multiple times and everytime you do, her initial reaction is trying to push it aside by giving a reason she can't. That will just make her feel more anxious and upset. The bond we had enabled us to share ourselves and each other, and trust that our emotions and physical fun could be happily kept separate. The next morning I awoke to a text message from Sam, telling me that he thought I was the sexiest woman in the club. Seems to me she has already obliged your sexual desires by flirting with men online and she is trying to be a good partner. How could he possibly believe I still loved him just the same, no less than before, when I would betray him like that. In conversation, when I suggest that she could move onto IRL sex, her reactions vacillate between,"I don't think I could do that", and "I don't know who we'd ask I had never had anyone so openly compliment me, I felt proud and filled with excitement. My husband started to question if my feelings were possibly starting to go too far, and in the beginning I would answer no, believing in my answer. It had been a very long time since I had fallen in love with someone like I had my husband. I asked them if they understood that I still loved Daddy just as much, and no less than I always have, yes, they did. That's called pushing her into it, which is gross and disrespectful. If it's a general negative, then you attempting to change that calculus via whatever form of "encouragement" or incentivizing would effectively be manipulating your wife into having sex with someone she doesn't want to have sex with. If she gets into it, she'll bring it up. He was older and cheeky and I immediately felt drawn to him. If she wants to, she will initiate the discussion. We were husband and wife, and best friends. He was still my world and the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I walked in the door, trying to pretend like it was any other day.
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