I love my independence. In the Japan Family Planning Association's study on sex among young people, there was far more data on men than women. They don't believe it can lead anywhere," says Aoyama. Most are still too young to have concrete future plans, but projections for them are already laid out. Although there has long been a pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan — a country mostly free of religious morals — sex fares no better. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe.
There are no figures for same-sex relationships. But he also believes the rest of the world is not far behind. The country is undergoing major social transition after 20 years of economic stagnation. Aoyama believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" — and it's partly the government's fault. This is true for both sexes, but it's especially true for women. And the centuries-old belief that the purpose of marriage is to produce children endures. A difference that is too large to be accounted for by some of the men having had male partners at their most recent event. She just doesn't want a relationship and casual sex is not a good option, she says, because "girls can't have flings without being judged". Across urban Asia, Europe and America, people are marrying later or not at all, birth rates are falling, single-occupant households are on the rise and, in countries where economic recession is worst, young people are living at home. The sense of crushing obligation affects men just as much. She accepts that technology will shape the future, but says society must ensure it doesn't take over. For Japanese women today, marriage is the grave of their hard-won careers. I buy stylish clothes and go on nice holidays. Some of Aoyama's clients are among the small minority who have taken social withdrawal to a pathological extreme. But what endless Japanese committees have failed to grasp when they stew over the country's procreation-shy youth is that, thanks to official shortsightedness, the decision to stay single often makes perfect sense. Her first name means "love" in Japanese, and is a keepsake from her earlier days as a professional dominatrix. Nor is growing preoccupation with digital technology. This was also the year, as the number of elderly people shoots up, that adult incontinence pants outsold baby nappies in Japan for the first time. Japanese women have become more independent and ambitious. Its population of million , which has been shrinking for the past decade, is projected to plunge a further one-third by Are Thai bar girls bad girls? Japan's unders won't go forth and multiply out of duty, as postwar generations did. Lacking long-term shared goals, many are turning to what she terms "Pot Noodle love" — easy or instant gratification, in the form of casual sex, short-term trysts and the usual technological suspects: I don't even like holding hands. Yet conservative attitudes in the home and workplace persist. Satoru Kishino, 31, belongs to a large tribe of men under 40 who are engaging in a kind of passive rebellion against traditional Japanese masculinity.
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